just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
