No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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