It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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