we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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