id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
