oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
