MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
