Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
