Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
