How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize