is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
