he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
