i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
