Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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