i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
