My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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