Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
