my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
