i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
