We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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