We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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