just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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