North Korea, Best Korea!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
