At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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