So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
