Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
