Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
