miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize