I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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