I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
