And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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