yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
