You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We smell like vodka and hangover
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