In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
whose parrot is this?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
