That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
