i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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