carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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