Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
