Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
