she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize