why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
