no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
