Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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