good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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