D3 body, D1 cock
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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