A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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