so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
