You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
