..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
