margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
