for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
